If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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