I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
