a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
