Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
