Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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