dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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