Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
