12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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