she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
