I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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