Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
