dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
