Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
