do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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