you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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