Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
