Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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