Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
