Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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