he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
