sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
