dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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