it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
