I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
