Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
