you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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