ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
