but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
