I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
