I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
