so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
4 words: hood of his car
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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