I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
