If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Pooping to opera.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
