i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
