I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
