The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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