Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
