i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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