It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
