Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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