Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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