I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
