...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
