Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
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I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
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and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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