Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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