If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
