Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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