The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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