Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
