So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
