Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
