maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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