You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
