apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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