Someone shit on the floor
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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