Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
