Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's blow job season.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
