is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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