fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
