yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
