Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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