i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
