mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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