It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
