hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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