Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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