you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
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Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
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Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize