Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
