I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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